When you get past a certain age your family members begin to panic. Now that I am the BIG 25 my sweet Grandmother has decided to take matters into her own hands and she has appointed herself as my over zealous matchmaker. Who can blame her, she is just looking out for her own interests and her interests revolve completely and totally around great-grandchildren.
Like any good business woman, my Grandmother looks for dating leads everywhere she goes. The other day she over heard two strangers talking. Stranger A told stranger B that she wished her son would get out and date more. Hearing of another disabled dater my Grandmother approached the strangers. “I have a single granddaughter. We should get the two of them together!” He’s single I’m single… naturally we are perfect for each other.
I have nothing against blind dates and I am usually willing to give a blind date a try, but come on! The only thing my Grandmother knows about this guy is that he is breathing, male, single, and that his mother thinks he is great. What kind of a grandmother is willing to sacrifice her oldest grandchild based on the recommendation of a complete stranger?
Grandma, after a few emails with her new matchmaking cohort, is fully prepared to guilt trip me into this freak show of a blind date. “What do you have to loose?” she asks. What do I have to loose? What do I have to loose!?!?! Right, maybe I’m being too dramatic... after all how many serial killers met their victims on a blind date?
Like the lemming that I am I send blind date boy an email. Blind date boy is 29, he still lives at home and he admits that he is on the "12 years to an Associate Degree" program. (His words, not mine.) On our second round of emails blind date boy lets me know that I should follow my dreams and go back to graduate school. After all, he wants a successful wife who has been educated to the best of her abilities. Besides what if one day the wife has to support the family? Okay, hot stuff, let’s backup to your 12 years to an Associate Degree program. Maybe I’m confused and then again maybe I need to go back to school to understand the definition of a hypocrite.
Thanks Grandma! You sure know how to pick’em.
P.s. If you would like to correspond with my blind date wonder boy I’ll be more than happy to shoot you his email. But I'm warning you now that you might want to shoot yourself after an email or two.
P.s.s. If you would like to hire my Grandmother as your own matchmaker, I am willing to lease her out for a month or two.
LOL Geez. You're 25, not 40. I'm sure grandma is well intentioned though. Tell her you're holding out for am MD. :) or you could tell her you're holding out for blind date guy to get his MD. She might find someone better for you rather than wait 48 years. :D
ReplyDeleteNow that I know what you are looking for: male, single, breathing... I'll help your grandma round 'em up for you! Good luck on all your dating adventures!
ReplyDeleteOMG, he sounds like a dreamboat!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat was one of the funniest things I've read in a while. I really do believe the universe has conspired to make your dating life insane. :)
I can already tell that I am going to love this blog. Thanks for letting me know about it. I will probably read it with excitement whenever I see on my blog list that you have posted a new post. This is just what the girls of Provo need.
ReplyDeleteI know this may be the exception but my parents met on a blind date. Although, they are the only couple I know who ended up dating from a blind date and sometimes they are kind of crazy. But...it does happen.
ReplyDeleteI think your grandma sounds hilarious.
I once had a friend in high school tell me that a certain fair-skinned boy in our class would be a perfect match for me because I also have fair skin. What is that all about? We also had many other things in common such as: we both had arms, legs, wore clothes, spoke English, ate food, and went to the same high school. It's amazing that I haven't married him by now. Peeps be crazy.
- Emily
hahaha o wow i love this post!! hahaha your writing style is so fun!! he really sounded like a dreeeaaammm boat :) hahahah
ReplyDeleteMy grandma had a soft spot for a guy who worked at Staples... But I'll have to tell you about the Denny's server sometime. He had a girlfriend, but that didn't stop my grandma from calling to find out when he worked and dragging me in there.
ReplyDelete