Great article! So true I had to share...

The 9 Most Annoying Things To Say To A Single Person

"The good thing about being single is that people are usually pretty willing to talk about your romantic life, because, let’s face it, it’s probably more entertaining than that of your seriously coupled-up friends.

The bad news? Sometimes, people will want to talk about your love life regardless of whether or not you’re in the mood to talk about it. And they will have opinions. And questions. And if you’re single for long enough, a lot of these are gonna start sounding the same…"  

http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/1893-9-annoying-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-single-person/#

So I'm dying to know — what is the worst thing someone has ever said to you? One of my personal favorites involved my Grandpa. I was a 21 year old college student and I was hosting a bbq at my grandparents house. My Grandpa is one smooth guy and in his day he was quite a lady killer. So my lady-killing Grandpa went up to my roommate and asked her in a rather sly covert way, "Will you teach Liz how to flirt?" I was flattered by the vote of confidence. I don't think I ever got any flirting lessons out of that bbq. Maybe my roommate should have taken him seriously and viewed me as a worthwhile service project. Flirting lessons as a community service — I like this idea! 

Twilight Parody

This is a must watch!

Joke of the day

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

Blind Date Etiquette

I recently signed on to be the Salt Lake City Dating Advice Examiner for Examiner.com. I know, I know, the idea of me giving dating advice is kind of comical.

Check out my first article and let me know what you think. If all goes well I will write one or two articles a week.
Blind date etiquette article

Thank You Love Notes

I’m currently taking a professional interviewing class. The professor is terrifying! It’s possible that more than one student went home and cried after our first day of class. Imagine one of the most intense people you know and then multiple by 10 and you will have my professor.

On the second day of class we were talking about sending a thank you note after a job interview. One of my classmates thought that thank you notes were old fashioned and that if anything was necessary a thank you email would suffice. The professor and the rest of the class tried to convince our classmate that everyone liked thank you notes. My classmate wouldn’t buy it; he was convinced that thank you cards and mail in general had gone the way of the dinosaur.

Dumbfounded, the professor asked “Haven’t you ever sent a thank you note to a girl?” The professor then went on to reveal one of the most romantic things I have ever heard. Every Thanksgiving this terrifying man writes his wife a thank you note. He doesn’t just buy a Hallmark Card and call it good. Oh no! This man, who strikes fear into the hearts of dozens of students, buys the largest jumbo card he can find and then writes in tiny print all of the things he is thankful for about his wife. He fills the card with around 200 things. He has been doing this for years now. The best part of all of this is that he doesn’t reuse anything from one year to the next. A true romantic would never recycle thank yous! My professor keeps a list all year long so that he can write a very specific and loving thank you card.

Is this the cutest thing you have ever heard or what?!?! All I can say is where, do I sign up for thank you card writing husband?

Let’s be friends!

I have decided that the world of Facebook is in need of a little more dating drama. I have newly created a Facebook account dedicated to my life in the dating world. So, let’s be Facebook friends!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=100000416102714&v=wall&ref=profile

Let me know if you have a psychological problem.

A coworker sent me this link. Check it out! After you listen to this message you will never again give out your number. http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

Sometimes you have to kiss a frog or two.

I have found an alternative for those of us who have not found Prince Charming… Grow your own! I recently returned from visiting a friend in Seattle. Like every good tourist I visit the Space Needle and shopped in ever gift shop I passed. In one gift shop I found the post amazing gadget of all time. “Magic frog to prince – just add water.” SCORE! I shelled out my cash and brought my frog prince home. Here is our journey together:

Step 1: Buy the frog (Don't let the cashier make you feel stupid. People are purchasing these all over the world.)



Step 2: Kiss, kiss, kiss the frog. (I would suggest limiting this particular step to one kiss. Your coworkers might get the wrong idea about you after the second or third kiss.)


Step 3: Watch the frog transform before your eyes.


Step 4: Enjoy your Happily Ever After with your Prince.

WARNING - Do NOT attempt to take your Prince home to meet your parents. They will send you on a vacation to a white padded room...

Kindred Diva Texting Drama

Dear Diva,
 
Here is the text exchange I told you about. Talk about a texting knight in shining armor!
 

BOB 1:15 PM): [Sally], this is [Bob]. I watched Jaws w you. [Betty] was nice enough to give me ur number! Any plans this weekend starting w tonight?
 
BOB 8:55 PM: hey [betty], [wally] and i are going to hale theater fri. night, want to come?

At this point I called [Betty] to find out what the deal was and she said that [Bob] had texted her the same thing, and she had agreed.

ME: Is this a date invite or just friends getting together? 'Cause [Ed] is dying to see Singing in the Rain at the Orem Hale. I can't come, I'm going out of town, but I appreciate the invite!
 
BOB: I want it to be a date. But it just might turn into a friends thing since your headed out! We dont know too many girls here. Where you headed?
 
ME: Just out of curiosity, if I were going, who would be going with whom? I talked to [Betty] a bit ago and she said you'd texted her too, so I'm just wondering! If you want it to be a date, you could ask [Betty] if she would like to invite a girlfriend. [Ed] can see it some other time.
 
BOB: Ha ha... I love it! Im going w [betty], you'd be with [wally]... The prettier one of us bros...at least the smarter. Im arranging it cause wyatt works over time and k

 
(In case the reader is missing something here.... So if I had been able to go and I hadn't asked, my friend [Betty] and I would both have thought we had a date with Bob that night. Nice.)
 

ME: Well that's great. By the way, you didn't ask for my advice but if you want it to be a date i might try calling. Texting is so confusing to girls when it's something like this. [Betty] really wants to see Singing in the Rain there and you can't go wrong with the Hale, so you should have a great time!
 
BOB: ... how about a date next week?
 
ME: With your brother? If he called me i'd consider it.
 
BOB: No with me...if he wants a date w you he'll have to call you on his own...a date w me, or will you want me to call you next week to find out?
 

(I will tell you now that at no point was I terribly interested in either this fellow or his brother, particularly after the exchange above, so I decided to forfeit a future evening of free entertainment (yes, not that big of a favor, I know) to give it to him straight--with absolutely charitable hopes that he would learn work on his approach in the future, when it would be more important.)

ME: Honestly? Probably not. Next weekend is one of the only weekends I'll be in town in the next month. And i don't mean to sound prissy, but being asked out via text is kind of a turn off.
 
BOB: lol. No prob. Whatever idiosyncracies make you comfortable...i appreciate knowing.

(Note the improper word usage and total disregard to my well-intentioned suggestions that he call rather than text a girl for a date.)
 
Bob's Mis-Steps:
1) Texting a girl for a date, particularly a first date. Also, he could have asked for my number in person, but I won't consider that a technical foul.
2) Asking 2 girls out and not clarifying that 1 invitation was for his brother.
3) Asking a girl out for his brother.
4) Asking the night before.
5) Asking out 2 friends for consecutive weekends. Flattering? No. Attractive? Not terribly.
6) Not accepting the useful, direct advice for what it was. Totally clueless.
 
Love,
Would Rather Sit at Home

So you’re saying there’s a chance?!?!

Divas there is hope! This weekend I went to a wedding. Try not to feel sorry for me... I had a pretty good time.

What is that you say? Did I catch the bouquet? YES!! Okay, I know it is a silly antiquated tradition. The last thing a single gal needs at a wedding is to be forced to stand with other pathetically single women and fight over the honor of catching yet another bundle of flowers. This little game is really fun when you are 18. The trill. The excitement. Yeah, yeah, yeah... when you are 18 you still believe in Santa Clause and Prince Charming and happily ever after. But as the years tick on fighting for that wedding bouquet seems less and less appealing. As you stand waiting for the glowing bride to toss all of her cares and throw the bouquet you can feel millions of judging eyes. “She is such a sweet girl. I just don’t understand why she isn’t married.”

All of your fears kick in. You don’t want to look pathetic, after all you are happily single and you don’t need any stupid big wedding or happily ever after. So you shrink away from the bouquet and let one of those obnoxiously optimistic 18 year olds rip the flowers out of the air.

I don’t know what happened this weekend. There I was standing in the back of the pack ready to let the 18 year olds go crazy. Then all of the sudden my friend threw the bouquet and it came sailing up and over all of those expectant 18 year old hands. And there I was - in the back - in the perfect position to catch that silly bunch of flowers. So what did I do? You had better believe I jumped in the air and caught those flowers... silly and antiquated as they maybe. I confess it! You caught me! I absolutely love that I caught the bouquet.

All I have to say about this weekends catch is... It Is About Time!!!!

Do not pass go! Do not collect $200!

Is it possible to send someone to dating jail? We all know about the fashion police but is there such a thing for dating? Tonight I would like to press charges against more than one social misfit and dating deviant.


Criminal Offenses.
*Do not invite yourself to an event just because you saw it on Facebook. Social media does not give you a free pass to be rude.

*Do not reveal your Facebook stalking activities in casual conversation.

*Do not continue to text, call, and IM someone who has broken up with you. This is pathetic and sad.

*Do not use your own emotional baggage to manipulate other people.

WARNING: If you commit any of these offenses you will be sent straight to jail with no hope of parole.

Facebook = Depression

Okay, I confess that I was looking at Facebook at work.  I needed a 5 minute mental break from what I was doing all day.  One of my friends took a stupid Facebook quiz called “What Age Will You Get Married?”  I thought taking this quiz would be good for a laugh... so I went ahead and allowed this devilish little application into my life. This very scientific quiz consists of 6 questions:

1. How many times have you been in love?
2. Marriage is...
3. Where do you want your honeymoon?
4. Love is...
5. Your best quality is?
6. What feature do you notice first in your the opposite sex? (Please note that this typo is not mine - it is the quiz’s typo.)

I don’t know how a 6 question quiz with a typo could have such a negative impact on my mood. What age will I get married you ask? The powers of the universe and the magic of Facebook combined to let me know that I will be married at 37. The BIG 37. WOW! Even Facebook thinks that there is little or no hope for my love life. The quiz results informed me that “You haven't given up on the notion of true love and the wait is definitely worth it in the end.”

Buyers beware! The results of this quiz may damage your hopes and dreams. I cannot confirm or deny that I took the quiz more than once to see if I could lower my marriageable age. The result? The quiz is stupid and it is impossible to change your answers. I have decided that the creator of the quiz should add a new feature. If you try and take the quiz more than once you will receive the following message: "All of your worst fears are true. You will never marry. Stop taking this quiz. Log out of Facebook and immediately schedule an appointment with your councilor."

Stupid Facebook!

Could I go to jail for this?

Don’t you just love this street sign? Isn’t there a part of you that wants to put on black clothes and sneak out at 3am and steal this sign?!?! I'm usually able to suppress criminal urges but in this case my inner deviant is just dying to come out and play. Okay, don’t freak out - I didn’t steal the sign. The sign has been hung way too high for it to be casually stolen. Judging from the sign’s current height I am guessing that I am not the first person with klepto thoughts. I’d have to plan a major covert operation to steal such a prize. I guess I will have to settle for the picture I took on my way home from work. Hypothetically speaking, if any of you know someone who might be willing to steal the sign in question... please send me their info, ASAP!

Kindred Diva Tales: I love my cat but I don't want to date him!

One of my favorite kindred Diva’s recently sent me a paper she wrote for a communications class. She interviewed several dating victims for her paper and I couldn’t resist sharing this little gem.

An anonymous dating victim was unfortunate enough to attend a dance with a guy who was more cat than man.

"All of the sudden my date started purring and meowing. I kid you not. He’d go ‘Meow!’ and I’d look at him without reacting trying to pretend that he wasn’t a complete nutzo."

In addition to purring, meowing and trying to rub up next to her like a cat, the victim's date also took a piece of paper and shredded it with his… claws… while making hissing noises. YIKES! In case you were wondering, Prince Charming's cat name is Norbert. Multiple personalities are bad enough without one personality being a cat!

Just when I start to think I have dating drama I hear stories like this. Keep these crazy kindred diva tales coming!!!

Does this baggage come in another color?

We all have problems - I get it. I’m not afraid to admit that I have issues. For heaven’s sake I have a whole blog dedicated to my dating issues. As much as I like to rant about life to my friends, my coworkers, and even on my blog, there comes a time when you have to practice a little strategic marketing. Dating is about putting your best foot forward. Once the object of your affection has fallen for you at your best, you can slowly start introducing your baggage. We all have baggage so there is no point in trying to deny it exists. The real question is can you put up with the other person’s baggage.

I have been going out with this guy for the past week or so. He is very open about sharing his life and his views. Sharing is nice and all but there is a very fine line between being open and TMI. Tonight we went dancing and while we were taking a breather outside he told me that he has anxiety, takes medication, and sees a councilor. After he revealed this information I didn’t really say anything. Then he said, “I just told you I have anxiety and you still like me?” Ummm? Wow. What was I supposed to say? I think you are so sensitive and wonderful for sharing? Did you bring your paper bag incase you have a panic attack? We have only known each other a few weeks! I personally don’t think you start pulling out that kind of baggage a few weeks into a relationship. Is there anything wrong with seeing a councilor or having anxiety? No, but I guess it really depends on the person and how they handle their issues and on the relationship as a whole. The problem with tonight's revelation is that I don’t know him well enough or have enough information to make an informed decision about his baggage.

Do I have serious baggage? Yes, yes, yes! I have serious baggage. Is it appropriate for me to share it in the first few weeks of dating? NO! Sharing your past, personal struggles, and serious issues is like flying. In the airport they check your baggage to make sure that it will fit in the airplane’s overhead compartment. If the baggage is too big then it must be checked and stowed safely away. In the beginning of a relationship any large, heavy, and unsightly baggage should be stowed until you arrive at your destination of a committed relationship. I’m not saying you should hide important information about yourself, but don’t try and fit a 75 lb suitcase in the overhead compartment. Wait until the plane lands and you pick up your luggage from baggage claim. Then you can slowly start unpacking your suitcase one issue at a time.

First kisses and near misses

This week I have been reflecting on the grand event that is a first kiss. I don’t know about you, but my first kiss was very awkward. I was fourteen and I had finally managed to date the heartthrob of my childhood. In my mind Ben and I were perfect for each other. One day he was over at my house watching the classic Pauly Shore movie, Bio-Dome. Talk about romance. Ben and I were cuddling on the couch when all of the sudden he reached around so I was trapped between him and the couch. I guess he was tired of waiting for the right moment. As I was completely trapped I had no option but to let him smooch me. I was a little gun shy about the whole kissing business. After the kiss was over my only thought was - GROSS! I did not have a magical Hollywood inspired first kiss. Needless to say Ben and I were not perfect for each other and our little romance lasted about as long as Pauly Shore’s popularity.

What about you, my fellow Divas? It’s time to dish the dirt on your first kiss.

Dear Diva, where on earth have you been?

Hi friends! Despite what you may have thought I have not abandoned my dating blog or the world of dating drama. I am still dating. There is still drama. And there are still many stories to come.

I have been dating someone but you will have to wait a little while for my latest stories. What can I say? In the past few weeks I have tried following the famous Maxine’s advice. My attempts at getting a life will soon appear on this blog for your reading entertainment.

If you say “I’m Sorry” one more time I’m going to scream!

I am all for minding your Ps & Qs and being mannerly. Unfortunatley there are people, who in their attempt to be polite, irritate and alienate those around them. I have this friend who makes life incredibly awkward by apologizing for everything. At a party he once gave me a friendly hug. I didn’t think anything of the hug. We are friends and it was a very casual and perfectly acceptable gesture. Sadly the next day my friend wrote me a facebook message apologizing for the hug. “I'm sorry if my side-hug at all made you uncomfortable. It was probably not appropriate.” Now I feel awkward about the infamous side hug. Should I have felt violated? Is my bubble really that big?

This wonderful memory came to my mind because I recently received a very unnecessary apology from one of my guy friends. Don’t get me wrong - everyone should absolutely apologize when there is a reason. However, people with an overactive guilt complex and low self esteem need to be careful with apologies.

I think it is fair to say that we are all looking for a man who is capable of saying he is sorry. But come on, I don’t want a guy who apologizes when he isn’t even in trouble. Let me get mad, be a little pouty and maybe even give you the silent treatment before you apologize. Once you realize I’m mad it is very appropriate to grovel, write love poetry and bring me flowers.

Does he love me for my shoes?

I just want all of you to know that I have finally found love. I just chatted with a guy online for over 10 minutes about the type of shoes I wear. LOL! One of my friends recently told me that I have to keep dating online just for the good stories. Take one for the team, she said. Okay, team... if you want to live vicarious awkward online dating drama I am willing to sacrifice for you.

In case you are wondering... I usually wear shoes with heels. I only wear the kill yourself stilettos to church and on special occasions. My favorite pair of shoes are a deep red pointy toed stiletto. They are to die for! So, what do you think? Should I keep chatting with the online guy with a shoe fetish? Or should I cut my losses and realize that one person in love with shoes is enough for one relationship? On the other hand, if I married him I would never have to feel guilty about buying shoes.

Shameful, truly shameful

Tonight I was watching CNN and all of the sudden a very unexpected commercial came on the air. You may already know about this dating service. I admit that I have been out of the news these days and this commercial was quite a shock to me. At first I thought the commercial was a joke. There is a dating service called AshleyMadison.com that advocates adultery and provides a forum for married people to hook up and have a “discrete” affair. The commercial I saw tonight was banned from the Super Bowl... but now seems to be okay in between CNN’s programing. WOW! Don’t worry. If you don’t manage to have an affair in the first 3 months the site will refund you the $249 fee.

I guess being a single person looking for true love doesn’t seem so bad after all. Never again will I complain about normal online dating.